If I never hear the word “heteronormative” again, it’ll still be too soon.
You know, I totally understand why there’s so much outcry about J.K. Rowling not outing Dumbledore in her books despite it being completely irrelevant to the plot. I mean, geez, I don’t even know how I managed to grow up remotely queer without any literary role models. I’m so jellus that kids today even have the OPTION for Dumbledore to gay them up.
As such, here are some other classic children’s and YA book authors who obviously failed the gay community by not outing their characters in the text…
Frances Hodgson Burnett for The Secret Garden and A Little Princess. Bitch please, the kid’s name was DICKON and he liked weak, sissy boy Colin flowers and plants. And did you really think Sara Crewe was the “little princess” in question? Clearly Burnett meant the Indian Gentleman who was such a “close friend” of Sara’s father. Plus, Sara and Becky…? Totally gay.
Shame on you, Frances. SHAME.
Then we have Madeleine L’Engle, who clearly should have outed Charles Wallace Murray. The closest we got was him fondling that unicorn, Gaudior (a BOY unicorn, I might add) in A Swiftly Tilting Planet. Like we all didn’t know what was actually “tilting.” Wink, wink. And, of course, savvy slashers have already caught on to the fact that Joshua Archer in The Arm of the Starfish was totally Adam’s big, gay boyfriend. It’s too bad she didn’t put in a five page gay sex scene in between all that talk of limb regeneration. ‘Cause you know *something* was regenerating. Nudge, nudge.
Bonnie in Joan Aiken’s The Wolves of Willoughby Chase. Total dyke now that I’ve read it as an adult. She knows how to shoot, she wears boys’ clothes, and enjoys her short hair cut. Why couldn’t Aiken have revealed her true love for her sweet cousin Sylvia? I mean, geez, then she would have had the double pay-off of it being gay AND incest-y!
Everybody in Ellen Raskin’s The Westing Game. Who wasn’t gay in that book, right? Judge Ford, the Power Dyke; Turtle the Baby Dyke; Angela the Lipstick Lesbian…Doug Hoo and Theo Theodorakis totally the OTP! If only Raskin had them all mention their sexuality on those slips they filled out during the meetings for the game… the book would have been perfect!
Preston Fielding in Ellen Emerson White’s The President’s Daughter? GAY. I mean, come on, he’s a fabulous dresser who is not afraid to wear magenta. Total label queen. I can’t believe White didn’t have him become the first gay and out White House press secretary. She’s a terrible role model for not playing into the stereotype of the well-dressed gay man.
The Berenstain Bears. Please, they’re BEARS. Duh.
(Yes, it’s sad when “my side” annoys me more than the ‘phobes.)
*Title comes from one of the best bad-bad Dawson’s Creek slash stories, and a personal favorite here at PopGurls. — Amy