In the eternal quest for underwear that is both cute AND functional — something I thought was nothing more than a pipe dream, a mere fantasy tale told by mother’s to get their daughters to go to sleep at night — I stumbled upon Mary Green in the boutique Retail Therapy in Seattle. They’re cute, they don’t ride, and I don’t have to listen to the boy complain about granny panties anymore. It’s fucking fantastic. I don’t even mind having to wash them by hand. Yet. I don’t mind yet. I’m sure the day will come when I start tossing them in the washing machine, but for now I’m trying to abide by the hand wash. We’ll see how that goes.
Also cute, though not quite as functional is the Honeydew line. Their frilly, can-canesque boyshorts are totally fucking cute, though they’re more for wearing as you dance your way around your house in nothing but your underwear than for wearing under pants. Not that they don’t have cute, practical underwear, because they have a line that looks pretty identical to Mary Green’s (only slightly less comfy), but if I’m going to get something that looks just like Mary Green, I’m just going to get Mary Green. If you do go for the Honeydew line, be warned that they run small. Extremely small. If you’re usually a small, try a medium. At least. You might even push it up to a large. (Mary Green runs true to size.)
The downside to looking cute in your skivvies? A slightly higher price tag than those of us that traditionally buy our underwear in cotton and packs of six are comfortable with paying. But if looking adorably cute isn’t enough to make you shell out $15 to $20+ a pair, try looking at it as an investment in peace and quiet since your significant other will no longer be bitching about your granny panties. They’ll be happier, you’ll be happier (it’s amazing what feeling cute can do for your attitude), and at least when your friends come over unannounced and you don’t have time to clear your underwear out of the bathroom, they won’t be asking why your grandmother’s underwear is hanging up in your bathroom.