Written by Amy, Michelle
Section One Profiles: Security Clearance Five
Note: there’s a good chance we’re really off on some of this. feel free to correct us, we may not slap you silly.
Hair:Blonde. Originally damn long. Now chin-length.
Life before Section: Abandoned by her father, had a distant mother. Was young street person falsely accused of murdering a police officer and sentenced to life in prison. Liked kittens. (Which she probably still does. Because, you know, heart of gold and stuff.)
Strengths: She’s hot. She’s tall. She’s blond. And she carries a gun.
Weaknesses: She makes, however, a crappy-ass undercover exotic dancer. Oh dear lord. One would think that would be part of her training. Apparently not.
Codename: Uhm… don’t know. But he’s Michael! Samuelle! (Also referred to as “spyboy” online.)
Gig: Field Operative
Height: ‘Round Nikita’s height
Hair: Brown. Mullet. (Known for his ability to make it look hot)
Eyes: Brown? Hell if we know.
Life before Section: While a university student in Paris in the mid-80s became involved with an anarchistic student group that engaged in terrorist acts. Before Nikita arrived he married another Section operative, Simone, who was killed by The Freedom League.
Strengths: Chicks dig the mullet. Emotionally bereft, likes tall, blond assassins with guns.
Weaknesses: His penchant for long, leggy blonds and Adam, his son that he had with a bad guy’s daughter while undercover.
Real name: Seymour Birkoff
Gig:Computer Whiz Kid
Height: Not too tall. Just the right snuggly size. (Please note, that is all Amy.)
Hair: Brown, but too damn short to really tell.
Life before Section: None. He was born there.
Strengths: Total computer geek. Cocky as fuck. Amy loooooooves him.
Weaknesses: Total computer geek. Also seems to have an almost incestuous love for the leggy blond.
Real name: Paul Wolfe
Gig: Head of Section One
Height: Damn Tall
Hair: Various hues of gray.
Eyes: What? Like we adore them for their physical attributes? Not a clue.
Life before Section: Something military like? Actually, not a clue. But I do believe he was in the shiznit in Vietnam.
Strengths: Head of Section One. Has a strong sense of duty – willing to sacrifice Operatives and Innocents for a mission.
Weaknesses: Has a twisted relationship with Madeline, likes to hang out in “the Tower,” is apparently missing his heart. Has father-son complex due to his own son dying.
Codename: Doesn’t need one. she’s that cool.
Gig: Section’s second-in-command, Master Strategist and Psych Op.
Height: Probably taller than us.
Hair: Brown. Froofy at first. Then worn in a tight French twist.
Eyes: Best guess, brown.
Life before Section: She was married, but that might have actually been in Section. Otherwise, it’s a mystery to me.
Strengths: One cold bitca who can definitely handle herself.
Weaknesses: Lives in a hell of her own making, blaming herself for the death of her sister Sarah, who was killed in a fall when they were children. Frequently Operations’ booty call.
Height: Yeah, he has some height.
Hair: Long, grey and in a ponytail. usually decked out in a bandana too.
Eyes: Let’s go with blue here.
Life before Section: Not sure, but worked his way up from being a field op to munitions master.
Strengths: Crusty old codger, likes the ladies. Likes Nikita, but not in that way. Gives advice, requisitions equipment for you under the table if you say please or are a leggy blond. Must be damn good if he’s been in section for more than 25 years. Or have some damn good blackmail material.
Weaknesses: Crusty old codger, likes the ladies.
Height: See Birkoff
Hair: A bit longer. And I have to say, it made him hot in a different way.
Eyes: Uhm, not sure.
Life before Section: Birkoff’s long-lost twin (yawn). Part of an experiment where he was raised outside of section, while Birkoff was inside. Was brought in when Birkoff died. (*sob*)
Strengths: Another computer guy.
Weaknesses: Calls himself “Dr. Loooooooove.” Has a bad, bad fake Southern accent. Is. Not. Birkoff.
Codename: Don’t care.
Height: Tall enough, we suppose.
Eyes: Uhm, not sure.
Life before Section: Still not caring.
Strengths: Eh, can do some computer stuff. Not that we care.
Weaknesses: A big twit. Thinks she’s Madeline. Is so not. Needs to be slapped. We hate her, we do.
Real name: George
Hair: We know this one! Gray!
Life before Section: Let’s assume he didn’t have one. Or we could make up something cool…nah, let’s go with “didn’t have one.”
Strengths: Operations hates him. Was close with Adrian, the chick who started Section – holds it over Operations.
Weaknesses: Operations hates him. Seems to be slightly vindictive.
Real name: You know, I think they told us in the last season – but I fell asleep.
Height: Shorter than the leggy blond
Life before Section: An actor living off canned soup and freeze-dried peas. Okay, I made that pea thing up.
Strengths: Obviously a good actor. We think.
Weaknesses: Crumbles easily under the fist of a wrathful blond who keeps screaming “Why?” at him. The wuss.
We love him. That’s all you need to know. Nikita and Michael needlessly killed him. They could have gone around! They could have!