Boys, we know this can be a disturbing topic for ya’ll, so feel free to look away. Parts of this may be considered too graphic for your poor, delicate minds. But there are a few things we have to say.
- If you can’t aim, don’t squat. I’m serious. There is NOTHING more disturbing than having to sit on a wet toilet seat – especially if you have no idea who’s used it before you. Let’s be considerate here, people. If you’re afraid to sit on the seat, hold it. Or use one of those handy paper seat covers. They’re there for a reason.
- It’s not your bathroom, girls. There’s no reason for me to walk into a stall and find two magazines sitting on the floor. I don’t know where they’ve been and I’m not touching them. Save it for home, ladies.
- We all have periods. Really. Unless someone has gone through the enormous effort to dress convincingly enough in drag that he can hang out in the women’s restroom, everyone in that room knows what you’re going through. There’s no need to try to be quiet. You don’t have to sit there and wait for the bathroom to empty or for someone to flush before unwrapping your sanitary product. That’s just silly. And might inspire some people, certainly not me, to hang out longer just to be mean, to see if you’ll crack.
- And, along these lines, could you please ensure that you haven’t left anything on the seat. ‘Nuff said. I think you all know where I’m going with this. Just…make sure. Please.
- Excuse me, but I’m going to the bathroom. Do not, and I really can’t stress this enough, attempt to talk to me under the stall. Especially if you are extremely drunk and I do not know you.