*NSYNC – Relatively chipper, with huge doses of sap!SYNC.
No Strings Attached – Multirange Stalker!SYNC.
Celebrity – Angry!Bitter!SYNC.
I, uhm, like angry!bitter!sync. A lot. More than I should like an angry!bitter!album from boys who have more money than God. (And who can shake their boo-tay a whole lot better, too.) And more than I should like an album which feels like an obvious transition, from “I’m going to be the one you want whether you like it or not” to “Fine, you don’t want to have cybersex with me? I’ll go be famous and show you – so there!” And a whole lot more than I should like an album by a bunch of boys who had the audacity to go and get all *grrr* overnight.
But, alas, I couldn’t stop listening to it.
After about a month, I finally had to switch it out. But it’s slowly creeping back into heavy rotation. Damn.
Here goes the slacker-gurlie review…
(By the way, I, like Melynee, do not own the European version of the cd. However, I’ve heard the extra songs enough times that I feel more than qualified to comment.)
Songs That I Skip Over Every Time
- Falling – If Chris sang it – like he does in concert – I’d get the European version tomorrow. Alas, he does not and the US version suits me just fine. However, I don’t think it would bump it up out of this category more than once every couple of months. It’s just… sugary sap. It’s a ballad. I don’t like ballads. (Note the ballad theme. Yes, I like repeating myself.)
- Something Like You – Justin, hon, you were all cute on Leno with your Stevie Wonder awe, but this song. Ugh. No. It sucks. And Stevie only recycled some old harmonica part for you. But I have to agree with eiddy about having a strange affection for the chorus. Something happens when I kiss your mouth, my knees get so weak.Nice. Really, really nice. (And I may like the “You could be my ‘meant to be'” line. But I’m not going to admit it. No.) I can take it once or twice a year – about how often I end up seeing The Boys in concert.
Songs That I Skip Over Almost Every Time
- Girlfriend – Now, I’ve listened to this enough to know all the words, but still, eh. Like “Something Like You,” folks have oohed and aaahed over the collaboration – this time with the Neptunes. Like “Something Like You,” the hype is not deserved. I dunno, it’s just, it’s background music and nothing more. It doesn’t grab me. But as I write this, I’m actually enjoying it again. Perhaps it needs to be bumped up in moderation. Shall ponder.
- Selfish– I could blame JC. I could blame his damn “unperfect.” But I think it’s more about the fact that it’s a ballad. It’s a sweet song, really. And I don’t hate it the odd time it comes on. I may even sway. But, ballad, so no love.
Songs That I Have Learned to Like Due to Serious Repetition
- Celebrity – At. First. Did. Not. Like. This. At. All. I mean, I was on the train and grabbed for the lyrics when I heard “If I didn’t have cheese, like everyday,” and it still kinda makes me giggle each time I hear it. (Although I am holding tight to the fact that it’s a nod to Michelle’s serious cheese issues. This “money” thing is simply dumb.) But, I would play the entire cd through and after about the 15th time, I started to like it. Not tolerate, but truly like. Even if it’s Wade chanting. Even if Wade co-wrote it. Even if I hate Wade. *sigh* Damn Boys.
- Do Your Thing – Cute. Bouncy. And JC is just so damn adorable that I can see him bopping around, singing it. But it depresses me. Greatly. Am I doing my thing? Am I doing it well? Sadly, no. Yet, “there ain’t no excuse for losing your feet, drowning in your defeat… there aint no excuse for coming up short…” Dude, I don’t even know what my thing is, and I don’t need the guilt trip. I have enough to worry about; I don’t need to stress about other people hatin’, sayin’ “ooooh.” So there.
Songs That I Sincerely Like, But Can’t Listen To Every Time
- Pop – When this first came out, I felt “eh.” Sure, there were hip shimmies and floor humping, but the song left a bit to be desired. Then I hit that essential 10-time mark. And I loved it. All over the office, I’d proclaim that one needed to hear the song five to ten times to truly like it. One by one, my co-workers slid down the slippery pop slope. Then I got sick of it, and it slipped into the Songs I Skip Over Almost Every Time category for a few weeks. Lately, there’s been a resurgence. I blame Regis and the beauty of JC and his diva hips. (A thing of beauty, for sure.) But the beatboxing? No. Just…no.
- Just Don’t Tell Me That – Why does it amuse me that they are singing about going to “every party at the Playboy mansion”? And that there are tons of little gurlies under the age of twelve singing these lyrics? While it’s like “Girlfriend” in the way that it’s nice background music, the underlying angry tone bumps it up on my list. There’s nothing all that remarkable about the song but it’s enjoyable nevertheless.
- Gone– Ah, the ballad that did me in. Would I have fallen for this if I hadn’t seen it in concert first? Perhaps. But I did. I saw The Boys lounging, the one.perfect.tear, and the thrust-felt-round-the-stadium. Ohhh… yes, yes, I did. But I digress… In my concert review, I mentioned my non-fanatical friends who hit the show and came back raving about “Gone.” Sure, raving in a non-giggly-PopGurlie way, still there was praise. And it’s deserved. I hate ballads, I do. I want to hate this instead of involuntarily swaying and doing that jerky-chest thing. (Not to be confused with lunec’s chest-pat which I have sadly picked up.) Because it makes my heart hurt, makes my breath catch with “Baby girl, you’re gone,” and makes my eyes glaze over at the very thought of the aforementioned thrust. Bastards.
Songs That I Adore And Listen To Most Of The Time
- The Game Is Over – Angry!SYNC! Angry!Handholding!SYNC in Concert! Digital Getdown Lives On! We decided that this had to be a JC song – I mean, Tron and goofy lyrics – just with a huge dash of *grrr*. It’s just, yes. Three songs in, and I’m so jiving to the Angry!SYNC vibe that I actually get chills listening to this. My favorite line: “Take it personal, because I did when you cheated on me.” I have no idea why, but I feel the need to shout it very loudly and very *grrr* with a stern look on my face. I can’t not move when this comes on. Oh, oh and then the “How did you think you could do me like that?” part. Dude, this may have to be bumped up.
- See Right Through You – After some mellow and happier songs, we’re back to Angry!SYNC. Mmmmm, nice. There are so many things to like about this song, but the one that makes me giggle and perhaps even blush is the infamous JC line, “Does he freak you the way that I do? ‘Cause you know that I know how to.” To paraphrase Helen (who may have been quoting someone else): “JC is on a mission to single-handedly bring back ‘freak’ into the English language.” I, just, yeah. I think I need to put that part on repeat. (Not unlike the three-minute mark of “Digital Getdown” where Justin does that little rap. Another song that involves freaking. Uhm.)
- That Girl Will Never Be Mine – The On the Line song… That’s the excuse that they’re giving for not putting it on Celebrity. See, I think it has to do with “Tell Me, Tell Me…Baby” – because they didn’t feel comfortable putting two songs that encourage fan-stalkage on one album. A very dancy/singy song, though. Especially in cars when driving up and down Vegas strips. Yes. (And I still like “I ran into a repeat,” dammit.)
- Tell Me, Tell Me Baby – One of the ballsiest songs ever written. At least if it follows my theory that Michelle outlined so dead-on. It’s a return to the Stalker!SYNC of No Strings Attached, but, well, bordering on a dangerous fury. Because I think either the fans have become more psychotic (Hello? Fanbus girls?) or because The Boys are fed up with the big-ass magnifying glass they live their lives under. (This also fits in nicely with the theme of the album.) Some of these lines have to have been taken directly from fan letters, and some have to be their reaction to the “Who is your *NSYNC Soulmate?” quizzes on so many sites and magazines. I mean, it’s brilliant, really:
Tell me, tell me baby, don’t you know that I can’t breathe without you,
Tell me, tell me baby, what am I supposed to do right now?
Why can’t you love me? Tell me, my baby…
Now from the moment we met, I thought that I was all set,
How could I be so wrong?
Now I’m hearing that you’re seeing someone new…
And I want to know who
Could he love you like I do, my baby…
All these fans who spend their entire time stalking these boys, and not in good fun; people who get fascinated and fixated on five boys to the point where they lose all sense of reality, Hoochies who are determined to get five minutes in a bathroom with one of these boys, and for what? Will it make their lives better? Are they hoping that it will lead to something more? And I have to say that I love JC’s break in the beginning. Because for one brief moment, it crashes the boundary between POPSTAR and singer. It reinforces the fact that it’s not just a glossy image, there’s an actual person at who these emotions and intentions are being directed. That’s pretty damn overwhelming.
Songs That I Love Beyond The Telling of It
- Up Against the Wall – I’m convinced there’s subliminal messaging in the chant. There has to be. What else would cause perfectly normal gurlies to break out into said chant with the obligatory “WOO!” and “TWO STEP” exclamations in public? Loudly? Or brighten another’s day by simply calling up and yelling “TWO STEP” into the phone, being met with a suddenly cheerful “WOO!”? I’ve seen it happen countless times – there must be something subliminal working here. Because, face it, it’s a stupid chant. Cute, sure, but kinda dumb. But something happens after, oh, I’d say the sixth or seventh time you hear it – it’s endearing. Fun. Not unlike a certain song on No Strings Attached that has a pseudo-chant in it. You feel yourself transitioning from thinking “This is really dumb” to “This isn’t so bad” to “This is fabulous! More! More! More!” Subliminal messaging, I’m telling you. That isn’t to say the rest of the song isn’t catchy and the thought of finding these boys at some dance club and grinding into oblivion isn’t absolutely delicious. I mean, it’s such an intense image and yet it manages to be dirty in a less obvious way than other JC-penned songs tend to be. Mmm… JC, diiiirty. (Sorry, was I saying something? No, I didn’t think so either.)
- The Two of Us – I just, I can’t even begin to explain how much I love this song. If it’s possible to want to marry a song, this is it. I loved it when I first heard it at Giants Stadium, when I knew about two lines and put a whole lot of “na-naaa”-ing in the middle. When I would sing said lines and “naaa”-ing to anyone in earshot. It’s just, it’s just so wonderful. I put it on repeat as I walk from my office to the train station. I stick my headphones in at work, and completely zone out into bliss. I bounce to it no matter where I am, with a big stupid grin on my face. But I don’t care because it’s so bubbly and snuggly that it’s like this little pocket of sweet adorable happiness. Does it play upon my When Harry Met Sally/Some Kind of Wonderful issues? The whole idea of friends-turning-into-a-relationship? Perhaps. It was definitely the beginning of my JC as “the sweetest, prettiest boy in all the land” issues.
You see, I toss and turn when I’m alone,
And I just can’t wait ’til you get home…
‘Cause I’m thinking ’bout you day and night,
I just can’t get you off my mind…
In a room full of people, you’re the only one around,
And nothing in this world can ever bring us down. *sigh*
See, I just love the feeling, knowing I can make you smile,
And I haven’t felt that way about someone in quite a while.
See folks, this is why I can’t like ballads. Because I’m too busy giggling over such lines and trying to convince myself that it’s not sap. And too busy anticipating the end of the song where JC sings “This – I – swear,” with that little pause in it. Uhm, yeah.
I heart them, I do. I heart Angry!Bitter!Boys who grind and thrust and hold hands. Yet, still have time to be the sweetest boys ever.